Many people say: "My partner makes my anxiety worse." Is it really true or not? With anxiety, you already feel exhausted when you wake up in the morning, and your mind starts to race with unfavorable ideas. However, when that anxiety is about your partner, it can significantly worsen the situation.
👩❤️👨 A real relationship is never the same as in movies or romance novels. Therefore, quarreling or conflict is always a very normal thing. If the conflict persists and is not resolved in time, it may lead to an undesirable outcome.
Although this is common, normal, and expected, we cannot allow this tendency to control our feelings, interpersonal interactions, or daily lives. So let's discuss whether your partner is contributing to your anxiety and how to deal with it.
5 signs your partner makes your anxiety worse
Most people experience relationship insecurity at some point, particularly in the beginning when dating and committing to a partner. You shouldn't be too concerned about fleeting doubts or fears, especially if they don't have a big impact on you because this isn't unusual.
However, these uneasy thoughts can occasionally fester and intrude into your normal day. Here are a few possible indications of relationship anxiety:
Are you unsure of your partner's regard for you?
"Do I matter? Are you there for me?” and similar underlying questions are the most typical manifestations of relationship anxiety. These speak to a basic need to connect, feel like you belong, and feel safe in a relationship.
For instance, you might be concerned that:
If you weren't there, your partner wouldn't miss you very much
In the event of a serious issue, they might not provide assistance or support.
They simply want what you can do for them.
Don't believe in your partner's love
You have talked "I love you". They always act kindly toward you, bringing you lunch or going out of their way to see you home, and they always seem happy to see you. But the nagging suspicion that "They don't really love me" is still there.
Perhaps they take a while to react to physical affection. Or they ignore texts for a day or more without responding. You wonder if their feelings have changed when they suddenly seem a little distant.
Everyone has these occasional worries, but if you have relationship anxiety, they could become a fixation.
Concerned that they want to split up
It's completely normal not to want to cling to these emotions and wish that nothing would happen to end the relationship. But occasionally, these ideas can develop into a steadfast worry that your partner will leave you.
You are mulling over what you want to say
Steady communication is necessary for any relationship to be healthy. However, you might notice that your anxiety level has increased if you feel as though you can't express what you're thinking or want to say.
Maybe you think you should suppress your emotions. Maybe when you try to raise a subject that worries you, you feel stonewalled—basically, shut down.
Stop overthinking it because that definitely won't help - it just might give rise to some deeper problems. You need to regain control of your mind. Identify and beat unwanted thoughts.
You are putting more effort than your partner in the relationship
You may experience increased anxiety if you believe that you are the only one in the relationship making a constant effort. Are you the one who always makes plans, tries to reach a compromise, or goes above and beyond to pay attention to your partner's needs?
How to handle if your partner makes you anxiety
1. Boost your emotions
You probably have a great sense of empathy for other people's needs and generously give to your relationship. However, there are times when anxiety can take those resources away from the relationship as quickly as you put them in. This is totally fine.
There are many benefits to loving you that more than offset this; however, it might require you to keep making sure those resources are replenished. When you can, surround your partner with attention, expressions of gratitude, love, touch, and conversation.
2. Share your thoughts with your partner
Although anxious thoughts are intensely private, tell your partner about them. It plays a significant role in intimacy. You'll frequently consider what you should do to feel safe, what makes you feel bad, and what could go wrong.
🔖You might be interested in this post “How to explain your anxiety to your partner”
3. The tough discussions may deepen your relationship
All relationships deal with difficult issues from time to time, but anxiety can magnify these issues and make them seem more dangerous than they actually are. Difficult problems never go away; instead, they fester until they explode.
Have faith that you and your partner can handle a difficult conversation. Relationships are based on trust. And, it's crucial to have faith in the resilience of your bond to face challenges together.
4. Improve your boundaries
You may have a problem with boundaries if you notice that your anxiety worsens when you spend too much time with your partner or go a whole day without hearing from them.
Some of your more anxious moments can be reduced by setting clear expectations for things like time apart and how frequently you check in with each other.
5. Be patient
You might be tempted to push for a quick fix to a problem in your relationship to feel better and reduce your anxiety. Be open to the possibility that your partner may have a different, sometimes clearer, perspective on the situation. You might become frustrated with your partner's desire to wait or delay committing to a course of action, or with their resistance to keep talking about the issue.
Final thoughts
It can be difficult to accept that no relationship is guaranteed. Even though you might not be able to completely prevent partner anxiety, there are steps you can take to stop the incessant worrying and spend more time with your partner actually enjoying your relationship.
References
How to Stop Anxiety from Destroying Relationships. (2022, April 11). GoodTherapy. Retrieved August 20, 2022, from https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-to-stop-anxiety-from-destroying-relationships-0622155
Is Your Relationship Making Your Anxiety Worse? (n.d.). Poosh. Retrieved August 20, 2022, from https://poosh.com/relationship-making-anxiety-worse/
Taylor, K. (2021, October 19). What Should You Do if Your Partner Makes You Anxious? | EQ | iris Dating. EQ. Retrieved August 20, 2022, from https://eq.irisdating.com/what-to-do-when-your-partner-makes-your-anxiety-worse/
